I'm just wishing there was a weight loss pill that could make me eat less and want to exercise more. Maybe it could also speed up my metabolism.. Yes, the magic weight loss pill that could give me the willpower to lose weight and keep it off. Alas, I will have to come to my own aid in this area.
I have been going to Weight Watchers since February 2005. I had lost 45 pounds by October, but deep seated mental issues caused me to begin sabotaging my efforts. That has led me to beleive my problems are deeper than just the mathmatical equation of calories in must be equal to or less than calories out. I am, at the heart of things, afraid of being thin, and unwilling to allow myself to succeed, pretty much at anything. I don't know if a weight loss pill would help me, because I would probably find reasons to "forget" to take it. Or I would start to eat a cheesecake a day, even if I didn't want to. The sabateur in my head is a maniacal bastard.
My hypnotherapist has introduced a "new age" kind of treatment for my emotional issues. I really want to be healthy, so I am going to try it. I will post the results here as I go. I am just beginning to understand that for the morbidly obese (as I am) food is not really the core issue. It is something deeper and darker, something we may try to repress, that causes us to bury our true selves under layer after layer of fat. Now I beleive it may take a lot of work in various areas of my life to get me healthy, not just focusing on the calories in/calories out.
